Dear Diary ...

As we all know, my mom has a history of being, well, inappropriate. So you can imagine my utter shock when she all of a sudden told me that *her* mother tells her too many details about her sex life.

1. I don't need to know that my grandma ever had a sex life (I'm quite sure she doesn't now and I'm holding on to that no matter what).

2. Hello, Pot. Meet your mom, Kettle.

It seems my mom forgot that she told my brother the Craftmatic story. Or that she used to tell me about my dad writing in SWH (sex with husband) on her Palm Pilot calendar.  Not one to let her get away with that shit, I reminded her of the 2nd one. "How do you know that? Your dad told you?"

Yes, my dad, who was the MOST modest told me about your sexcapades. Um, no. (He would be mortified if he had known that fun fact.)

It's funny because she recently got her old diaries back (she didn't remember giving them to me back in high school either) and keeps talking about how she didn't remember things as they happened.

Also, I finally got up the nerve to read my baby book to her -- the part where it says I was induced after 2 weeks, not a month. "Well, they gave me a pill." Um, OK, yes then?

I just wish she had always kept a diary. I think her self perception would be VERY different and she might start piecing together some of the puzzle that is SJS.

Luckily for all of us, I've kept a diary for her here.