Plan B and a Salty Girl

well, it turns out Plan B didn't take. we got the news earlier this week. basically our borrowed time is just that -- and it's unclear how much we have.

i've spent the week grieving and i anticipate that won't end any time soon.  the nice thing about knowing you're on borrowed time, however, is reflecting on all of the amazing, joyful, ridiculous moments that make up this life.

my mom stayed with us for 3 weeks recently, so of course i have stories.

while out here, my mom really wanted to pitch in w/ the kids. that was awesome. she made us dinners (that were often destroyed by one of us losing it. weeknights are hard), read them books and did laundry. so awesome!

my daughter -- nicknamed Sunny D by my sister for her cautious, kept demeanor -- was often cold to my mom.  i know it bugged my mom but there's not a lot you can do with a strong-willed girl. i shrugged it off as being 4 and told my mom as much.

one afternoon, D asked my mom to make her soup for lunch. my mom jumped at the chance to fulfill the request.  i came downstairs to my daughter sitting by her very full bowl of soup saying she didn't want it. i was a little surprised -- it's her new favorite soup -- but it's somewhat typical for a 4 year old so we made her something else.  my mom took it as another example of Salty (nee Sunny) D.

a little while later, i was cleaning the kitchen and got to the rest of the soup sitting in the pot. it looked very dense. "mom, did you add water to this?" "no, was i supposed to?" "it's condensed soup so, yes." "oh. i'm not used to that kind." (it was campbell's)

she later told my brother that she thought she had cooked down most of the liquid, which means D was basically left with a bowl of salty chicken and noodles. my mom made good with her second try: a grilled cheese.

Stage 4

It's been a long time since the last post. A lot has happened.

In the fall of last year, things came to a screeching halt.

My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. (She's alive so don't think that this is THAT post.)

My brother canceled his trip to L.A. for my kids' birthday.

My mom canceled her trip to L.A. for Halloween -- even though she really wanted to wear her terrifying horse costume.

My daughter and I rushed to my mom's house.  By the time we got off the plane, my mom herself had been rushed to the hospital for severe pain. She spent the rest of our trip there.

She's gone through chemo and radiation in an attempt to shrink the tumor clinging to her liver.  The plan kind of worked: it shrank, just not enough.

I'm back with her now as she goes into surgery for Plan B. If this takes, she'll probably be having surgeries for the next 14 months.  If it doesn't ... I don't want to think about it.

That's the thing about this blog. I love teasing my mom for her idiosyncrasies and weird choices, I love seeing those things manifest in my everyday decision making and parenting. But at the end of the day: She's my mom. She's the one I call every day on my way home from work.  She's the one I look to -- and look exactly like.

My biggest hope right now is that she gets well so I can get back to posting her crazy stories. I love her so much.