the piano and the world's longest gestation

first off, i should mention that our beautiful baby girl was born on oct. 15 and we couldn't be happier (and by "we," i mean my husband, me and ... my mom). i will get into all of the stories that have happened since my daughter's birth, but i need to get in some other stories that happened during my pregnancy first.

i was lucky enough to have two baby showers -- one with family and one with friends. my mom, of course, decided to attend both. i was actually fine with it because throughout my pregnancy i was having all sorts of sentimental feelings about her, some of which i'll chalk up to insane hormones.

anyway, the family one was fine and she was mostly well behaved. the friend shower is another story.

first off, my mom had been bugging me about her piano in the weeks leading up to the shower. she had the piano from my childhood in her mother-in-law's house in canada. it had been there for years. suddenly, for reasons i still don't get, the piano had to be moved. my mom decided it should be moved to my apartment.

something of note: my husband and i live in a quaint two-bedroom apartment that fits us. at the time, we had a baby on the way and the baby stuff was piling up. the last thing i wanted to do was squeeze in a piano.

of course, i would love to have the piano -- if  i had the space. unfortunately, i didn't. i explained this to her, but she was unrelenting, leaving me voicemails, sending me emails and generally harassing me about it. i was so annoyed that i just stopped taking her calls or calling her back. and since we usually talk many times a week, she freaked out, thought i was dead, called my husband and called my sister to call my husband. one would think she would take the hint, but she was never one to understand or utilize subtly.

anyway, at the shower while i'm picking my mother-in-law up at the airport, my mom corners a friend of mine and says, "don't you think she should take my piano and put it here?" (pointing to a spot that is right next to my front door.) my friend, having no idea what my mom is talking about or why, said something like, "that would be nice" and tried to leave the conversation. but she didn't get far before my mom told her about the longest gestation in the history of the world: mine.

according to my mom, i was born "literally 30 days late."

once i got back from the airport, my friend pulled me aside to discuss the matters of the piano and gestation. i told her the piano was ridiculous but that the gestation thing was something my mom had created in her mind.

see, it turns out that when i got married, my mom gave me my baby book. and when i got pregnant, i actually read it.

there, in her own handwriting, it says that i was induced because i was two weeks late -- not 30 days. my mom also said that i was in the womb so long because they didn't have drugs to induce then. um, they did. and she writes about it in the baby book.

i mentioned this story to my brother (because he was also involved in stories at this shower -- more on that in the next post) who clearly remembered getting shipped to my aunt and uncle's house so that my mom could go to hospital, as *scheduled.*

anyway, i told my friend not to mention that i knew exactly how late i was born as i haven't actually told my mom that she wrote down a totally different story. i mean, she just loves telling it so much that i didn't have the heart to break hers in telling her the truth. it seems she thinks there was some sort of extra bond between us because i was with her 30 extra days. who am i to tell her our bonding time was only half of what she thinks?

i'll just let her go on believing her story. and holding onto the piano, which is now being shipped to her condo in fla.

they just start low, too

well, despite grandma's "bible trick," it turns out we're having a girl! i know! it's so crazy and we can hardly believe she'll be here in 3 1/2 months.

this news, of course, has been settling in since we found out, but one of my first thoughts was  "oh crap. someday she's going to write a blog about how crazy i am."

the fear of having a girl was swift: girls get pregnant, teenage girls are horrible people, girls might love their mothers but they resent becoming them, etc., etc.

my mother, of course, could not be happier about this outcome. there was an audible shriek when i told her the news (she also went right into telling me about her sick dogs -- again) and she has since created a nickname for the baby and spends a lot of time thinking about when she'll come visit and how long she'll stay.

it's actually been very sweet to see how excited she is about all of this. despite her lecturing me on drinking while pregnant (i, um, haven't, but thanks for the note!) -- including giving me the cliff notes from my sister's school presentation on fetal alcohol syndrome -- she's been very supportive and fun.

so, i suppose, a blog 30 years from now where my daughter talks about how ridiculous i am, how i talk over her and exclusively about my dogs is inevitable. in the meantime, it should be a wild ride -- for all three of us.

GRANDMA HILL SAYS THE BIBLE SAYS IT'S A BOY

so, to explain, the title of this post is the subject line of an email i got from my mom today (yes, in all caps).

to back up, while she was last here on her one-day-turned-six-day trip, my husband and i found out the happy news that we are expecting a little one in october.

we are waiting to find out the sex of the baby (we have two weeks left) and my mom keeps telling me that my grandma has some "Bible trick" to determine it. the email (her emphasis, not mine) she sent today read:

HI Hon:  I talked to grandma today and asked her if she had done her bible thing and she said she hadn't but she would do it then, which she did.

She came up with 1 Chronicles 27:16

My Bible's translation is as follows"  

"Officers of the Tribes: 

The officers over the tribes of Israel:

over the Reubenites:  Eliezer SON OF Zicri"

She interpreted this to mean that he will be a man of leadership and importance (referring to "officers")

and the SON means baby K is a boy.  Believe it or not?  That's the truth according to GH and the Good Book.

I don't know what this does to little Miss K, that I'm dreaming about.

Have a great day,

Love you,

MOM

when i asked her what my grandma's "bible thing" was, exactly, she wrote back:

Well she just opens the bible and points

  classic.

planes and prune juice

it's clearly been a while since i last wrote.  there was a lot to write about /nothing to write about all at once but mom came through!

she and her husband are taking a cruise soon. a 14-day cruise (which means she's missing lots of work, but she seems ok w/ it), that sails out of the port right up the street. therefore, she wanted to come out "a day early" to stay with us. perfect!

well, the one day has turned into six (not that i mind, i'm looking forward to seeing her; thankfully, i have an understanding husband), so mom will be bunking here for awhile. it might be stressing her out a little because, while hearing about flights and dates, she's also mentioned she's having another issue (you'll see). here's the email i got yesterday.

Ok the flight is ugly

The only one that was halfway decent is leaving Miami friday

At 10 something PM and I get in around 1.... Something AM sat

So... If you could take a nap

And pick me up that would b great

It's longer than I thought so if you and Scottie have plans please go ahead with them

I look forward to seeing you

Ps bought some more prune juice today

Have a good day

Xxxooo   Mom