a new study (always wary) has come out saying that, try as we might, we'll all end up with the same wrinkles as our mothers.
apparently "daughters' faces tend to follow their mothers in terms of sagging and volume loss, particularly around the corners of their eyes and lower eyelids." fantastic.
as previously mentioned in this blog, i share most other physical features with my mom, so why not throw her "sagging and volume loss" in there as well?
she actually has lovely skin and is obsessed with lotions and night creams. i'm hoping my lack of creme obsessions thus far doesn't make me get those wrinkles sooner. might be time to invest. here's the rest of the article, if you want to read more ...
i got a text from my mom a couple of weeks ago. she was flying back from vegas and knew i had also been out of town for a fun getaway. when my husband saw it he said, "that completely sums up everything she's about."
the more i thought about it, the more i realized he was right. it showed her thoughtfulness, her sweetness and her materialism. here's her text, which reads like a strange haiku:
Hi Hon, At the admirals club thinking of you. Love MOM
my mother and i share three distinct qualities: the social bug, the need to control and the inability to say 'no' often.
i first noticed it in her last summer when she was co-planning my bridal shower with my now mother-in-law. i was allowed some input, but frankly, i didn't really want to offer much. if someone else offers up to plan, i'm pretty good about shutting down. although, almost all the way, which is probably pretty annoying.
anyway, back to mom. the idea behind this shower (one of two showers i had, if that tells you anything) was for her to come to L.A., meet all of my friends (the social part), create and execute the theme (the control) and work with my mother-in-law on logistics (the inability to say 'no').
her theme was fine, if not quite my style: the invites, tablecloth and all paper dinnerware were covered in rose petals and these sequin things. most people who know me wouldn't pick rose petals and sequins for me, but i'm her daughter and w/ that comes a lot of 'Supposed To' moments so it was fine.
she planned games (although not too many at the guidance of my MIL and me) and even got personalized M&Ms. there was a small mom to mom battle about how the table should be organized and where to put the cupcakes but overall, it was an amazing day spent with mothers and friends.
in recent convos w/ my mom, she's mentioned the same type of pattern. she organizes something w/ a group of people (usually women) and puts her efforts in but doesn't necessarily want to share the duties w/ anyone else. however, if she has to, she'll oblige and go along with their plans, even if she doesn't agree. it takes all of her minnesota repression skills to hold it in, but she does. afterall, she spent her life doing the same thing in different situations.
i only lived in minnesota the first 12 years of my life, but when it comes to things like this, it's like i never left. after a bunch of friends and i joined -- and quickly quit -- a kickball team a few years ago, i started 'girls drinks.' at the time, i organized about 14 of us to get drinks at a new bar every week. as life got busier, it's turned into a once-a-month deal, but it's still going on, almost 4 years later.
and, i have to say, the more i hear about my mom organizing her 'circle of love' group, the more parallels i see to my 'girls drinks' actions. (granted hers is a church group and mine is, well, a drinking group, but i digress.) i plan it b/c i love seeing people and i typically pick the time, date and place. however, if someone else wants to help plan, i'll let them, but, inevitably, i'll pretty much shut down and let them drive -- this takes Midwest Guilt one step further: i don't have to say no if i don't say anything at all. done and done.
i have the luxury -- and sometimes duty -- of talking to my mom every day and it's really been through those convos and this blog that i've realized her actions and ways are like a thread running right through every day of my life.
my mother is an interesting gal. and because i see a lot of her specialness in me these days, this blog is dedicated to her ridiculous, but entertaining, stories.
