Her "Week From Hell"

Life has thrown my family some major curveballs in the last month.  On March 16, my father passed away. Two days earlier, my husband and I saw the first glimpse of our 2nd baby on an ultrasound (it all felt very Lightning Crashes).

Anyway, as you can imagine, this was (is) a traumatic time for me. My father and I were very close (no blog for him) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Hearing the news on the heels of our baby news was even tougher. (I knew how I was going to tell him. He would have been thrilled.)

That said, it turns out there is a lot of "business" to be done when someone dies. Bills to pay, arrangements to be made, all while trying to process what the hell is going on.

My family rallied and everyone was willing to take on responsibilities and make it easier for our stepmom. My mom tried but ... just couldn't.

First, she told me that my stepmom should have decided to hold the funeral where she (my mom) lives. Not where my dad and stepmom lived.

Then, she said the dates of the funeral -- and subsequent burial (in my mom's state) -- didn't work for her. She told my brother she was "not getting any closure."

Then, in a *moment* of selflessness, she offered to buy the obit in the paper in her state (where my brother and sister also live). All she had to do was send them the info (that I had sent her) and pay the bill.

Well, this apparently was too much for her. I got 2 texts, a voicemail and another frantic call.  She couldn't figure it out, she said. She was overwhelmed, she said. She needed to lie down, she said. And then she said what I just couldn't even believe: She was having "a week from hell."

What I said, "OK. I'll figure it out for you."

What I wanted to say, "Really? You should try losing your dad while pregnant. And then deal with a mother who can't do anything for herself. That's super easy." But I didn't. What was the point? It would only make her upset -- and that was the last thing I needed to deal with (again).

The good/weird news is, she never called any of us while we went to the funeral. I think we all needed the break from her, but we all noticed. That's the thing about her, we can't stand when she butts in but we want her to at least ask. She usually doesn't.